HABITS THAT WILL HELP IMPROVE THE MENTAL HEALTH OF BRIDES- BOOST YOUR MENTAL HEALTH BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY

Did I tell you that I have a passion for mental health? After working in the wedding industry and having a bachelor's in psychology, I have become one of the few psychologists interested in the wedding industry.

Weddings are a significant event in people's lives because, as many studies confirmed, having a husband or wife can boost your mental health. Hooray! 

Not so fast, my dear bride-to-be, because these studies applied just in the case of being happily married( ouch!) You can be married and be miserable in life.

But don't panic. This is why I am here! I am sure you will be part of a precious, joyful, and happy ever after marriage.

I love to help brides by giving good advice about their mental health that will allow them to enjoy their wedding day and beyond. Yey! I believe that a bride can build a healthy marriage by starting to develop good habits before the wedding. These good habits will accompany the bride for the days when the honeymoon is over.

I firmly believe in this Bible verse:

 "Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows." Galatians 6:7-9

 Many brides are becoming experts in sowing weed while planning their weddings. 

Some of them forget to take care of their friends and even fight them due to stress. Some friends can be seriously hurt and neglected during the planning by brides that don't know how to manage their emotions. Asking for forgiveness is very good, but the scars will remain. 

Going back to your old friends when the honeymoon is over will never be the solution to mend the relationship and will not improve the relationship but will make it worse.

Some brides sow the weed of neglecting their careers and jobs, especially those planning to continue with them once married.

I advised you in the last blog that you are not supposed to invite those bosses and co-workers that you don't like, but that's in the case you don't see yourself in that company for many years. Suppose the bride-to-be is dreaming about growing professionally in this company. In that case, she needs to invite those ugly people to her wedding to develop connections that will help her in the future.

In other words, you need to be polite and invest in these people even though you feel awkward inviting them to your wedding. I hate to say this, but it is more than true. You never burn all of your bridges because you never know if you need to cross them again.

Another lousy seed sowed by the bride-to-be while planning the wedding is neglecting those things that make her happy in her daily life.

She already has excellent habits and interests such as going to church, reading the Bible, praying, going to the movie theater, and shows; watching good series, going to the nail salon, going to church groups, ongoing education, and hobbies. All of these are still necessary to do before and after the wedding to let the brain know that your life will continue as good as it is even after the big day. Please don't make your body rebel against you by depleting it unnecessarily.

A bride needs to sow good seeds that will sprout along the years and will continue giving fruits when the years have passed, the kids have come, and passional love is gone.

Here I will share with you some habits that a bride-to-be can start developing while planning the wedding:

Invest in good relationships

A bride-to-be needs to strengthen her faith and build a family in Christ that will support her future marriage with their prayers. Surround yourself with women of faith and prayer warriors because you will need them.

Cultivate a friendship with your boyfriend right now. Be open to him and tell him everything about you. Lack of communication is what most couples struggle with the most. Don't let your boyfriend guess what you like in life, how you would like to be treated, and what you expect about your wedding night; talk about sex even if you have never had sex. Talk about your thoughts and fears, debts, childhood traumas, and all those things you don't feel like sharing. Remember that you and this man will become one flesh. Start opening to one another to avoid not welcoming surprises in the coming years.

Pray and read the Bible

When things are doing great, it looks like there is no need to look for God. But the most remarkable advice I can offer is to start developing your spiritual muscles.

Being a Christian does not guarantee an easy life without problems. Marrying a Christian man does not guarantee an extended trouble-free life, but we can achieve a life of contentment and gratefulness when we are close to the Lord. There will be days when you will not want to be married, and for those days, you will have already developed good spiritual tools that will help you overcome your thoughts and feelings.

Cultivate a relationship with your in-laws

I have heard countless stories about in-laws. Some nasty but some sweet. One of the greatest blessings you can have in your marriage is in-laws. Do whatever it takes to be their friend. Be there for them now, and they will be there for you always.

I know there are vast exceptions to this. . .and my heart grieves along these brides.

I would never advise a woman with a terrible relationship with her in-laws to marry their son, even though he is one of a kind. This will take an enormous toll on her mental health for many years.

I can tell you countless stories about what it means to have a bad relationship with a mother-in-law, but I will focus on this: If you have good in-laws, please, don't take them for granted. Don't mistreat them, accept them, don't push them out of your life, and do whatever is in your hands to keep the peace.

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18

Look for a marriage group to have fellowship

There will be times when you will want to isolate yourself. Well, it is good for you, especially in your first year of marriage, to want to be alone to enjoy each other. Newlyweds are selfish, and I am with you, but don't take it too far. I know it can be challenging to look for relationships these days. Sometimes we have been betrayed, and we still carry some wounds of bad friends, but just because you had that sneaky bad friend does not mean that all of your future friends will be bad. There are good women of God out there that can be good friends. 

You need people for prayer, fellowship, and listening to others' situations and blessings can be encouraging for your marriage life. Sometimes, in trouble, couples can believe the lie that they are the only ones with these problems. Having a group in Christ where most of them are married and knowing that they are or have gone through similar circumstances will help you know that every marriage will experience the same temptations and trials in this world.

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. "1 Corinthians 10:13 

Have a small garden

Having a small garden is a way to learn patience.

I remember the first time I went to home depot in search of a beautiful plant. I was convinced that taking care of a silly plant would be so easy. Well, it died in a week. I did not notice that plant was not supposed to stay in the sunlight, and to think that I live in Florida, no wonder how it withered so quick.

I was so discouraged that I decided never to buy a single living plant again but to buy artificial flowers all the days of my life. Still, after a while and looking at those beautiful pictures of those well-cared plants of my Facebook friends, I said to myself: “Dude, you can do this.” So, I took myself to home depot again, and this time I bought one particular sunny plant. I love her; her name is Petra Croton.

When I bought my first plant, I learned something: Plants need water every day, just like a marriage.

Woman, I know it can be hard work!

But as I told you, having a garden has helped me build something I needed: Patience.

Before I entered the gardening club of life, I dreamed about having a beautiful garden outside my tiny apartment, I imagined it every day, but I failed. I felt discouraged, and for a time, I hated living plants. I hated the whole process of gardening!!!

Sometimes this happens not only with plants but in marriage. We visualize our marriage through pink lenses; we have great expectations and dreams about this marriage before we say: I do. We say I do because we believe everything will go well and perfect but suddenly a wife can feel so discouraged about this marriage that once brought happiness to her life. Some brides end up hating their marriage.

I knew deep in my heart that God was trying to teach me something through my first failure in gardening.

God was teaching me to remember not only to water my plant daily but He forced me to go outside and look at the beautiful sky every morning. I can’t help but say thank you to The Lord for that beautiful Floridian sky every day. And last but not least, God taught me that when you start caring for others mindfully, you will see their beauty.

Six months have passed since I allowed myself to start again. Now, I buy medicine to remove ants from them( yes, I said them because now I have four different plants, even an orchid. Can you believe it?), I buy vitamins for them, and by now, I am planning to buy beautiful terracotta pots and new nutritious soil for them.

I am still new to gardening, but starting a small garden has taught me not just the art of being patient but investing time in my marriage and family.

Just like my plants, your marriage will need patience, prayers, conversations, and sharing time, to mention a few things.

When you take care of your garden, I know you will also apply the same principles of caring for your marriage.

It's beautiful to see my plants grow healthy. It's lovely to plan what else I can do in this small garden. What about new ornaments?

I can live in a tiny apartment, but I am determined to make it look cozy and cute; whenever I come home, I will feel proud of myself and grateful for my little garden.

That will happen to you, my friend, and when the honeymoon has passed, and you are not so tired in the mornings from being awake all night playing with your husband, that little garden will make you feel special and grateful.

Well, we have reached the end of this blog, where I presented five habits that I learned can help a bride-to-be boost her mental health.

Sometimes, the neglection of the husband is not the problem but the neglection of ourselves. Brides-to-be tend to neglect themselves after engagement and believe their energies will never be depleted.

Always invest in those things that will never be taken away from you “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10: 38-42

Investing in all of the items above will never mean that your life and marriage will be perfect, but you will be very sound-minded when trouble comes, and you will have the capacity to recover in a shorter period. We must take care of our mental health every day and not wait until a crisis starts to look for help.

It can sound very complex to see the items above as techniques that can improve mental health as they are so common sense to follow. Unfortunately, we are in times where just staring at the sky in the morning is an act of rebellion against a rushing generation.

Bride, do you have any comments? What do you do to take care of yourself while planning your wedding? What are your marriage expectations?

Take care♥

Related: HOW NOT TO LOOSE YOURSELF IN MARRIAGE-SAVING THE MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS