MENTAL HEALTH TIPS FOR THE BRIDE TO BE- SELF CARE ROUTINE IDEAS-AVOIDING THE WEDDING BURNT OUT
He bent the knee, and now, you are the one you dreamed of being: A bride-to-be.
You have so much to do planning your dream wedding, Right?
Most brides-to-be are always in a rush. It looks like the time length suddenly shrank, and there is no more time left to take care of them.
As a psychologist working with brides, I can tell you that brides do many things before their weddings that remove the joy of getting married.
One of them is submitting themselves to the expectations of others by trying to impress third parties, even those they don’t like. I have seen countless brides inviting co-workers and bosses to be polite. Please, stop the drama!
On the other hand, I have seen countless brides getting into debt trying to prove to others that they can afford a million-dollar wedding, too. (please, don’t go this way).
Because of the expenses of the wedding, the planning, the wedding planner, in-laws, parents, bridesmaids, and so on, a bride-to-be forgets to take care of herself. She forgets that the wedding day will be just one day in her lifetime and that the journey does not end with the wedding but has just begun.
It’s ok for the bride to ask for help!
It has been told from afar that a sweet bride-to-be can become a bridezilla when she does not manage stress. Planning a wedding used to be stressful, but after COVID-19, it became a nightmare.
There is no shame in asking for help. You can not plan your wedding all by yourself and expect to look so put together on your wedding day.
Physical, spiritual, and mental health is also part of the big day. Grandmas want to help, too. Surrender a little bit of the power :)
So, because weddings are my passion, I care for brides-to-be like you.
Here I will share some tips to take care of your mental health and stay healthy before and after your wedding.
The wedding is not tomorrow. So, Yes! There is time to take care of you
Because the checklists for a wedding are endless, there are people out there being successful by selling bridal planners with many checkboxes for a bride to fill. Some brides buy one, others two, in case the wedding planner forgets about something.
Between the decorations, the photographer, the cake, the dress, and how not to mention: The honeymoon! A bride starts to forget to do the things she did before, like exercising, sleeping 8 hours a day, hanging out with her husband-to-be and friends, make-up, hair, nails, shaving, and spending time with the essential being in the whole universe: God. They forget about praying, reading the Bible, and going to church, so the spiritual self becomes weak.
No bride-to-be in the world decides to push aside her needs; they only put themselves at the end of the list as the wedding day will always look so close(This is how physical, emotional, and mental burnout is born.)
A Bride-to-be needs to take care of her physical, mental, and spiritual needs.
She needs to continue cultivating excellent and positive relationships because their future mental health can depend on them. She also needs to invest time in her relationship with her future husband. Let me tell you a secret: You don’t need to do everything at once :)
The problem will never be the problem, but the impatience of the brides to plan for everything at once. The temptation to prepare for the whole wedding at once will always be there.
You hang out with friends, but you are not with them; you are with the florist. You are having dinner with your future hubby, but let me guess! Oh, Yeah! You are mentally flying on the venue or scrolling down on Pinterest.
There will be a lot of time if we invest our mind and soul in the present. It can be 30 minutes with your friends, or just 15 minutes a day exercising but being mentally there.
Resist the impatience to see the whole wedding planned when there are still six months left for the big day. Come on! As every good thing in life, it requires a process.
I know it can be scary not to plan every detail in your mind, but it is the right thing to do.
As followers of Jesus, patience is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. Today is the perfect day to start watering it to grow. (Believe me, you need to start growing it up soon) So, there is time to take care of yourself by being patient and enjoying the whole process, step by step, one day at a time.
There is no money to spend on me
Because some brides want a million-dollar wedding, there will always be excuses to spend $5 on gelato when they come from work.
Resting for a little while watching a good movie with the boyfriend can be felt as losing precious time she can invest in continuing scrolling down on Pinterest to see what else she's missing. In the same way, investing a couple of dollars in herself can feel very selfish and a waste of money.
These brides want to be first and the wedding star, but without realizing they have become the last ones. They don't want to eat because they don't want to get fat; they can have a good Christmas the following year. When money is left, they will buy gifts for the bridesmaids, and suddenly, a sense of emptiness will say: I am here!
I am not telling you that you need to be selfish and not honor those you love but to spend money on yourself, too, especially if you are a working woman. Jesus said:
"And, The labourer is worthy of his reward." (1 Timothy 5:18).
God wants you to enjoy this moment, too. Do not wait until the wedding is over to invest in you. The wedding will be perfect!
Oh! Before I forget, don't push your boyfriend to do the same. I beg you! Stop the drama!
Don't remove his joy from him, too. He is not sinning for having fun before the wedding. God wants him to be free, and He died so both of you can enjoy and live life as its best, but it will always require a mustard seed of faith. Enjoying the life Jesus died to give you will always require consistency, prayer, and repentance for not being obedient and not wanting to accept his gift to enjoy life.
What people are going to say
Oh, My! One of the best advantages of not having family members close to you is being free of the expectations of others. Well, that would be true before Instagram, right? You can not invite everyone to your wedding, but the pictures will have to be there! In fact, that's a self-inflicted lie.
Pretending is not a good word, not just for a bride-to-be but for everyone. Oh, my! How destructive can it be pretending to be someone you are not.
One of the disadvantages of having a wedding is that you will receive hundreds of critics before and after the wedding. You will find the terrible toxic that will tell you every time what venue would be the best option for you, which wedding planner to hire, what color would be best for the bridesmaids, because yes, they are already counting on being one of them.
The sad news is that you can't ever make everyone happy in this life. You will be loved by some and hated by others; that's how life works. Yeah, I know, it's terrible, too.
So, it is not too much to say: Enjoy the moment and be free. Please, do not fall into mental illness by wanting to make everyone happy. It is not your responsibility to make these people happy, but it is theirs to choose to be satisfied.
And by the way, the wedding is your gift, not theirs. BOOM!
Planning a wedding can make you a worrier. The what ifs want to be there, too. Come here, my friend: Breath. Stop the drama. How? Just stop it.
There will always be toxic people trying to remove the joy and peace from you, and sometimes it can happen in church; ouch! Sometimes is better to be alone than to be thrown into the dumps.
It depends on you to enjoy this day and the full blessing!
Well, I have reached the end of my first blog talking to you about these common lies that physically, mentally, and emotionally drain some brides-to-be.
Remember that taking care of yourself is an act of love that you will need to continue doing even after the wedding for the health of your marriage.
If you have never thought this way and have never taken care of yourself, don't be so hard on yourself and start by giving short but intentional steps one day at a time. The secret is to be consistent and create healthy habits that will benefit your present and future.
A wedding should not be stressful; it is a precious gift from above.
Health and good appearance are not for granted. They are little flowers that need care and attention every day. Brides need to take care of them. Sometimes, they admire celebrities without thinking they have taken years to develop good habits to look physically beautiful and mentally strong.
Don't forget to take care of your spiritual life. As Christians, we forget that our closeness with God does not depend on just one day a week of reading the Bible or praying when I am in trouble. Being spiritually strong is the fruit of constant discipline.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Save energies for the day to come. Working so hard can make you sick and teaches your brain terrible habits. You are not superwoman, but you are unique and worthy before The Lord. You don't need to prove your value to anyone with this wedding.
Continuing like this will make you feel frustrated!
There are many lies that the enemy has told you. I know it's hard, but take care of your body, mind, and emotions to finish the purpose God already traced for you. Cultivate good relationships, and strengthen your faith and self-esteem. Permit yourself to take care of yourself. Go to bed early without remorse! stop scrolling down your cellphone for a while. Ask for help and go to therapy if you need to do so. Taking care of yourself will not remove the burdens, problems, trials, and tribulations of every day, but it will give you strength and a sound mind to handle the wedding and beyond.
A pleasing appearance constantly changes our perspective of ourselves. A little makeup and a little brushing always help. Feel beautiful and buy a good perfume because when you do this, you also work on your mental health.
Little by little, you will notice a new, better version of yourself. You will be a less stressed bride-to-be. A more patient, energized, and productive version of you. A bride-to-be with new strength to continue planning her wedding and beyond. It's ok to start learning to take care of yourself and give your best. Sometimes, some brides spend most of their time planning for the wedding but forget to spend time with the one she is going to marry: her future husband, and when they spend time with him, everything is about bills and pending things to buy.
If a bride-to-be is not careful, she can learn to do the same once married. She will wait for her husband to come home just to let him know all the things and problems she has in life. The beginning of a frustrating marriage where a husband is tired of bearing with a tired and frustrated woman that does not know how to rest.
Change your priorities, and your life will change for the best!
Take care♥
“In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to[a] those he loves.” Psalm 127:2-4
