YES, LIFE CHANGES AFTER YOU ARE MARRIED-EMBRACING CHANGE FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Every bride wants to show her best on her wedding day, but that can be achieved only by following a steady pace of self-care and healthy routines.

Mental health is the sum of small daily bricks you stick to the other through the right decisions you make as what you eat, how you sleep, what you watch on social media, etc. So, if you are already on the verge of giving up on your wedding dream, there is work you need to start doing. And by the way, you can start today.

Our brains need change, schedules, and healthy routines!

We love to work on autopilot because it is easier for us to live that way, but it gets us stuck with little or no progress. So, although schedules and routines are essential for our wellness, change helps us to grow.

As you enter a new season in your life, it is essential to know that things will never be the same for you.

You are now single, then you will be married, and you will never go back to being the same single you again.

Many brides are getting married blindfolded about the changes that being a wife will bring into their lives. I am here to be the one that removes that blindfold from thy beautiful eyes.

Adaptation is a process that takes time, and sometimes newlyweds get so discouraged that they split before the first year of marriage has passed. I wish they know that change is uncomfortable but will not be a long-lasting state of life.

Let's say a bride is used to living in a neat home, and she is pretty highly obsessed with order and happens to marry a man who does not care much about order and a tidy home. She can not become a bossy mom demanding the grown-up man to put this and that where she chooses they belong and he can not pretend they will live in a messy house. It will take for both to give in a little of themselves to accommodate the needs of the other. With time, the wife should be less obsessed with order, and the man will be a little more careful when it comes to order, and all that stuff.

We all have habits, and habits are difficult to change. Now imagine two people living together and experiencing change in their lives. . .Just a perfect recipe for emotional outbursts!

Ordinary people in marriage fight, have disagreements, and get angry. Aha! Even Christian ones. This is why it is essential to know that each partner is committed to the other no matter what situation or disagrement may bring tomorrow.

Every season in life is entirely different from the other . Just remember the seasons in your life you have already passed. Are they all the same?

Marriage can be difficult when none of the involved parties want to give in to the past way of living. Some are so incarnated with the things they used to live in that they wish the other partner to change their expectations. Some wives take the responsibility of cleaning the house to get tired and start blaming their husbands for doing nothing. New rules and conversations are to be applied in the marriage when just started.

Brides that like to control end up being a pain in the neck for everyone around them because no one can perfectly control everything in life. Things don't need to go that crazy with your planning too.

Change helps us to grow endurance. It sucks, yeah, and it hurts. It drives us crazy but just for a little while.

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

Because I care for brides like you, here, I will give you some tips to survive change:

STop the addiction to being comfortable

Lately, we are getting very addicted to being comfortable, so addicted that we are becoming very weak.

People are afraid of pain or suffering, and everyone is talking about mental health because they believe mental health is just about being happy and excited all the time. That’s nothing to do with real life, my dear bride-to-be.

We wouldn’t know happiness without sadness or the meaning of healing and wholeness without pain and discomfort. We can’t say what it means to be at peace without knowing what it means to be distressed. You can not avoid being uncomfortable in life, so you need to train your mind to see bad events as normal additions to the state of being alive.

Storms are necessary for life.

Whenever I see a couple with more than ten years of marriage, I know they have been through rough seasons together but were mature and strong enough to overcome adversity together.

Once you say I do, your inner self will start growing, and you will experience pain as when you were little and called mom or dad to soothe or massage your knees and legs because they were hurting because they were growing.

You are a growing bride-to-be. And you will grow even more!

One brick at the time

Change will be uncomfortable, but the important thing is being committed to each other in the adaptation process. And if you are already discouraged by marriage, I must tell you that good thing will happen there too. It is essential to create new routines and habits from scratch for both partners so they have a common ground to build on something. Adding new routines to the latest stage of life to get fun and look forward is a great start.

And before I forget it, you don’t have to change the way you are, but the behaviors are the ones to adapt. Change can be accomplished by doing small tasks or taking small everyday steps. One brick at a time.

Now for the control freak bride, leave space for the future too. Don’t try to invest all of your energies and passion in the first year of marriage.

Marriage is meant to last a lifetime, so what’s the hurry? Rest in the fact that things will get better one day at a time.

If your future husband leaves the socks on the living room floor and the wet towels on the floor, start with one. Tell him to pick the towel until he gets used to it, and until that, start with the socks.

We all have to tame our rush to want things done today. We all have to embrace long-term results while enjoying the process.

Your wedding planning is a school of life

Most of the time, it takes one whole year to plan a wedding to be able to breathe and not collapse.

A wedding day is the result of many completed activities a bride has done during the year. Choosing the flowers, working with vendors, making appointments to try the wedding dress and more. In the process, you are learning to deal with different personalities and behaviors. Sometimes, things will not be as planned. Maybe the shop that makes the invites will run out of the only paper you fell in love with, and they will tell you if it is ok to replace it.

Flowers will rise in price because of the season, and maybe the cake will not cost you the exact price your friend got for hers, or perhaps some of your bridesmaids will not want to wear the dress you have chosen for them, but they will want to select their dresses which can drive a bride crazy. These are some examples of things that get a bride discouraged.

When you work and plan your wedding, you deal with real people full of emotions and experiences, good or bad. Do not be discouraged by trying to control even the way people should treat you as a bride. Make room in your heart for second opportunities for all but keep going. Take your wedding as an opportunity to tame your emotions.

Sometimes you will have to deal with long and tired faces, not because they don’t want to work with you but because they are already depleted from working all day. For this scenario, always work in the morning with your vendors, and you will enjoy better results.

My dear bride-to-be! Life does not have to be perfect, and God uses people and circumstances to change our hearts and mind. Next time you are on the verge of having an outburst of anger because things have not gone how you want, breathe and think about how God can use this situation for your good.

Remember, things will always get better when we embrace change.

Have you already encountered some problems with the vendors? Would you like to share them with me? What things do you think you will need to adapt before marriage? Have the bride and grrom talked about that?

Related: HOW NOT TO LOOSE YOURSELF IN MARRIAGE-SAVING THE MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS